Clémence Pasquier, 29, suffers from generalized cancer and is now in palliative care. However, she does not hesitate to bear witness to her path of life, her sufferings but also the faith which inhabits her and carries her on a daily basis.
lémence Pasquier has been working for the diocese of Lyon for several years now, in youth ministry, and her latest “feat of arms” is to have contributed to bringing nearly 1,600 young people from Lyon to World Youth Day ( WYD ). from Lisbon last August. A challenge of which she is very proud, and above all very grateful, because until the last moment, she was not sure of having the physical strength to be able to experience such a journey.
Since she was 22, Clémence has suffered from cancer which is now widespread, and gives her little respite. She is now in palliative care, and knows that her months are numbered. However, between two visits to the hospital, she continues her work with young people, has to publish a second work on young saints and does not hesitate to bear witness to her faith, which has inhabited her since a very young age. Aleteia was able to contact her a few days after her testimony on the YouTube channel “Les éclairs”, a channel which gives voice to those who have gone through painful ordeals. His message reached thousands of people, to his great astonishment. For Aleteia, Clémence does not hesitate to share her experience and give a very good life lesson.
Aleteia: By participating in the show Les Lueurs , you confided a lot and this found a lot of echoes. Did you expect this?
Clémence Pasquier: No, I didn’t expect as much intensity in the feedback I got, nor so quickly. I received a lot of messages. This provoked numerous discussions, particularly with those close to us but also those less close to us. Many people have confided in me their own trials. Afterwards, I realize that in reality, all of us humans have few spaces in our daily lives to say what makes us fragile. In addition, I also understand that, when we dare to confide and show our suffering, this allows people to confide in their turn. It doesn’t matter whether their trials are more or less harsh than ours, the main thing is to be able to talk about your pain as well as your hope. That said, after such exchanges, the Good Lord did things well because I had planned a retreat in Lourdes and then in Boulaur, and I am happy to be able to breathe a little, physically, because I am quite tired and morally, to let this news subside, and read with a calm head the beautiful messages I received, without rushing.
Faith is truly my daily life.
You are a practicing Catholic, and it seems that you have a very deep-rooted faith. Where does it come from?
I come from a very religious family and we always prayed together at home. We even put on a family show on the life of Saint Francis of Assisi which we toured for several years, all over Europe, with my parents and my two brothers. Also faith is really my daily life. When I arrived in Lyon to start my professional life, I was lucky enough to be hired by the diocese of Lyon, after several months of volunteering. And so in my work, I can also live my faith, and put myself at the service of the mission.
However, you quickly discover that you have cancer. So you have to juggle illness, work and personal life?
It’s true, I quickly had to announce my illness at work because it required me to make some adjustments, with my medical appointments. Despite the pain and fatigue, I am happy to be able to continue working, because it allows me to maintain a rhythm of life, a balance, with the need to get up to go to work, and maintain contact with the world. It’s all the more “balancing” because I have meaningful work. The pastoral care of young people and today those of 18-35 year olds keeps me busy, especially since the year 2023 has been rich in projects between the organization of WYD, the opening of a solidarity grocery store in a parish of Lyon and the release of a first book on the lives of recent saints, with the second volume which will be published in April.
In this regard, which saints particularly touch you?
There are many of them: Francis of Assisi and Saint Clare, Saint Thérèse of the Child Jesus … I also think a lot of Claire de Castelbajac whose book I read when I was a teenager and in which I already had the era found a very large resonance with my life. And I have become even closer to her since my illness. His experience of life, of joy, of his doubts speaks to me enormously and we now have a real closeness.
What is this proximity?
I have a very special bond with the sisters of Boulaur , where Claire de Castelbajac rests . I came there for the first time, somewhat by chance, with my parents, a few years ago, and since then I have been going there several times a year at least. I experienced a deep and sincere friendship with the sisters there, and I was able to follow with them their new installation at Notre Dame des Neiges, where I also go very often, what luck! Since the announcement of my illness in 2018, my parents and the sisters have organized novenas for me to Claire, who, through an incredible channel and relay of friends, relatives and strangers, has never stopped. I only learned of this initiative several months later, and I don’t know who is participating in it and when, but this fidelity in prayer touches me and supports me, and even liberates me. I also like going to Boulaur to find a different rhythm than in Lyon, more relaxing, more regular, and more focused on the life of prayer.
Through my hands, my head or my heart, I have found ways to pray, constant and regular.
What is your relationship to prayer? How do you pray?
Prayer is truly part of my daily life and it is part of it every moment. It must be said that I have many hours of waiting in my life, during hospital appointments, during difficult nights without sleep, so I often find time to actually pray. I also do calligraphy, to soothe myself and pray, by copying out sentences from the Bible that I like or that inspire me. And I also sing a lot, music is part of my world. In short, through my hands, my head or my heart, I found ways to pray, constant and regular, and this despite the omnipresent fatigue, which is also part of my life and my daily life.
Let’s talk about the disease. What is its place in your daily life?
I have to admit that it is still the hospital that sets the rhythm of my daily life! It’s really part of my life, that’s how it is. I know it’s like that, even if sometimes it really pisses me off! I would like to be carefree, not plan anything in advance, go on a whim… Unfortunately, each trip, each trip, must be subject to medical authorization in advance with the establishment of on-site medical monitoring. Sometimes I’m fed up, I just want to be normal, so I cry out to God, not to reproach Him, no, just to tell Him that I’m fed up! This is also the case with a few trusted loved ones, with whom I can let out my anger or my weariness from time to time, without them worrying too much, they won’t be able to change anything but they are right there to listen to me, and that is precious.
I don’t know what the rest of my life will be like, even if the doctors don’t give me much visibility, but I know that love is what remains, and what will remain.
You who live with the disease, what is your message?
I regularly agree to testify in youth forums, at WYD, etc., but it’s true that until this show The Glows , I had never talked about palliative care and my relationship with death. I felt confident during filming, and to be honest, I didn’t think I would open up so much, or that there would be such an audience, which I didn’t think about at all. What I understand now, with hindsight, if I have a message, is that suffering is universal, that it affects every human being, and that we need places to talk about it and entrust. I don’t know what the rest of my life will be like, even if the doctors don’t give me much visibility, but I know that love is what remains, and what will remain.
