The question to ask your partner every morning

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According to the famous American psychologist John Gottman, a simple question asked to your partner every morning is enough to promote connection in the couple.

Akiss, a hug… “Did you sleep well?” ”, slipped into my ear. This is how the morning often begins for couples who have just formed. Then, time passes, routine sets in and the little touches of the morning give way to the frantic rush of everyday life. And morning discussions are often about logistics: “Are you the one who’s going to pick up the children from school? » ; “Can you buy some milk tonight, please?” » ; “Have you made a doctor’s appointment?” “. However, according to John Gottman , a famous American therapist specializing in couple relationships, a simple question asked to your partner in the morning can help break this routine and make the relationship last. 

Curiosity, admiration and attention

In the book  The Love Prescription , John Gottman and his wife Julie Schwartz explain that there are three universal things that are common to long-lasting couples: being interested in each other, sharing admiration for each other, and metaphorically (and often literally) “turn toward the other instead of turning away” when the spouse requires attention. 

And to put these three points into daily practice (curiosity, admiration and attention), the Gottmans, who have been studying couples for over 20 years, suggest asking your partner this question every morning: 

“Do you need anything today?”»

“It’s just a sentence,” they write. But she does a lot. It’s an invitation, a confidence builder, and it says “I love you” and “I want to be there for you.” » This simple question would be the key to a happy couple. However, it is about asking it at a time when you are able to listen. For those who can’t really take on an extra task and meet their spouse’s needs, relationship experts advise reducing that sentence to a simple, “How are you feeling today?” “.

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